you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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