I wish i was in the wii world.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
