ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
