i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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