I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize
