is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
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