So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
