his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
