i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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