I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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