we made out on top of his cat.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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