Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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