If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
