she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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