I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
