She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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