He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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