He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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