You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
