Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
