I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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