And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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