Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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