guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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