I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize