Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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