Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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