At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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