You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
