drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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