Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
