i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
