I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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