I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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