he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
