Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
