he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
