I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i now understand why vodka
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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