Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I believe in your delicious
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize