funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I will be naked everywhere
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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