i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
