I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
