the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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