My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
