Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
