I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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