Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
