My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
