Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize