SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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