If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
