My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
