hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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