So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
