whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
