dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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