we need to drink 2009 down the drain
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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