Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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