We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
