I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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