So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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