i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
