Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
