its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
