i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Randomize
