you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
