If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
