so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
