Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
