Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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