Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
her vagine was all disorganized.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize