Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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