Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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