Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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