Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
