Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize