the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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