I got chris browned last night
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
