He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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